When I came to Mexico almost six years ago, I had the intention of finding a place to live where I could quietly disappear and work on my projects. Basically, I wanted keep my head down and just work. In truth, I was lost and needed to find myself again.
By the time I arrived in Mexico, I already known the “digital nomad” lifestyle was not for me. Having traveled around California six months prior, with my dog and everything I owned in a backpack, I had already realized I was exhausted from constant couchsurfing, and needing to feel a sense of grounding, home, and community.
The day I arrived in Playa del Carmen, I stepped out of the taxi and as my foot touched the ground, I immediately felt this energy surge up through my body and out popped the words, “I’m home.”
Since then, I have accomplished much of my goals, and have had more experienced more than I could have ever dreamed, including:
I live a life many people dream of. I am extremely grateful for the incredible life I have here in Mexico. It is a blessing. But I still wouldn’t consider myself “successful” because of these experiences.
I had already begun the process of spiritual awakening before I arrived in Mexico. And since my arrival, a lot of inner work has been done. And, I’m still having to confront many of my fears, insecurities, and limiting beliefs. But I will say, with a high degree of certainty, I am a much calmer person these days. As a healer, I’ve come to realize you get into this as much to heal yourself as a desire to help others.
On paper, at least by the standards of “success” according to the culture in which I came from in the United States, I wouldn’t exactly call myself “successful” (at least not financially, anyway).
But while living in Mexico the last five years, I’ve come to realize that that kind of “success” is highly overrated and only lead to a soulless existence. Living here has taught me that true success:
Now don’t get me wrong, money is energy, and having an abundance of money certainly makes life a lot more easier to navigate in our current 3D reality!
Admittedly, especially in times when I’ve been in full-on “survival mode,” (which has happened more times than I can count in this life time), it’s difficult to be in service to others when I’m struggling just to fill up my own cup.
I wonder, sometimes, if this is the reason I’ve struggled with sustaining relationships in my life over the years.
I heard a phrase recently and it’s become one of great importance in my life: “Home isn’t a place. It’s the people who dwell in it.”
Through my spiritual awakening, I’ve come to understand that your only true home is inside. It’s a belief I have yet to fully grasp.
I also still believe, as human beings, we need connection, community and to feel a sense of belonging.
But, which is true? At this point, I’m still not sure.
So then, let’s connect the dots. The saying goes, “home is in the heart.” And, as stated above, “home isn’t a place. It’s the people who dwell in it.” Ergo, if I’m feeling isolated and alone does that mean no one is dwelling in my heart—including me?
Now, I’m not inviting self-doubt or self-loathing here. Only to say this, I often find myself isolated and lonely. In truth, I’ve spent most the last six years in Mexico alone, excluding the company of Mila, of course.
I’ve learned this much though, a place only truly feels like “home” when we feel safe, loved, nurtured, cared for and supported.
I still have days when I feel isolated and alone. I think maybe it’s a part of the human experience.
In fact, lately, that trigger or feeling of “loneliness” has become a conscious sign post to remind me to stop, take a deep breath and practice conscious, deep breathing. “Just breathe, this too shall pass.”
It’s taken most of my life so far to understand this. Not to mention unraveling my unconscious beliefs on what is considered success were never my own beliefs to begin with. They are the product of thousands of years of social conditioning handed down from generation to generation.
As I conclude this blog post, it dawns on me that only one person can define for me if my life is, was, or ever will be “successful.” And while I am proud of my accomplishments, I wouldn’t exactly consider them pillars of my success.
What I’m coming to realize is that, for me, the measure of my success equates to my own sense of joy and happiness. And whether “home is in the heart” or “heart is in the home,” at this stage in the game I’m coming to the appreciate that my measure of success has to do with the people I choose to spend my time with, the people I welcome in my heart with open arms.
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